Falling Apart
by WhoYouReallyAre
Summary: What if Andrew didn't die? Would His and Duffy's marriage cope with a third baby and a traumatic birth? Or would they crumble? Featuring Duffy, Charlie, Andrew and Colette. Chuffy Switched to Completed, I might continue if people ask for it but interest seems to have died.
1. Chapter 1

Falling apart. 

**_Based- Just before Series 16 starts._**

 ** _What if Andrew hadn't died? Would Duffy and Andrews marriage survive a third child?_**

Walking up to where he was sat in the waiting room she felt her heart break for him. He had his head in his hands refusing to let the exhaustion take over even though he probably should. Speaking softly as she sits next to him she was aware he hadn't heard her approaching.

"Andrew? Any word yet?" Almost jumping on hearing, her he tries to smile but it fails terribly.

"Oh Colette. I didn't hear you come in. No, no word yet. She's still in theatre." She could feel his stress pulsating off him so much, it made her feel worse.

"The baby's okay though?" She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear his answer. Not that she thought the baby was anything but fine, but she was too aware how difficult Andrew found it to accept this pregnancy and now with all this she was worried he wouldn't bond with the baby at all. She was very aware it was a fear Duffy had before this happened. His look before replying didn't help.

"Yeah, fine." He pauses for a moment, sighing before adding, "I know I should be there, but I can't. Not until I know Duffy's okay." She could understand that but at the same time she knew Duffy would be furious with him for not spending this precious time with their newborn baby. She could only pray Duffy would be okay, she didn't hold out much hope of Andrew coping if she didn't pull through. He was hardly the most hands-on dad, was he?

"I don't blame you Andrew." Putting her hand on top of his she just wished she could make him feel better.

Her shift didn't start for an hour yet but when she left yesterday they still didn't know if Duffy had come out of surgery okay or not. She could easily have phoned the ward, but fear stopped her. Maybe it was better not knowing? Anyway, deep down she knew Charlie would have phoned her if anything terrible had happened. Walking up to the ward her heart rate quickened as she remembered back to yesterday. It all happened so quickly, Duffy was fine one day then been rushed in with pre-eclampsia the next. At 34 weeks pregnant they moved fast more so when they realized how severe her symptoms were, but they couldn't stop her hemorrhaging after the emergency C-section. Finding Andrew eventually he didn't look any better than yesterday. If anything, he looked worse as he returned to the ward having got much needed coffee.

"Andrew? How are they both?" Glancing up on hearing his wife's friend approach he once more tries to smile and fails.

"Hi Colette." He sighs before continuing. "Alright, I guess. Alive." Looking at her face he knew she needed more than that but at the moment that's all his brain had taken in. "The baby is doing really well. Better than expected." Again, the pause returns before explaining his wife. "Duffy is…not much better than before really. She's not woken up yet." He was struggling, stress was still there but today there was also anger. If she'd just listened to him they wouldn't be here! Why did she insist on going ahead with the bloody pregnancy? Stupid woman! But he also knew better than voicing his opinion, more so to her friends. Colette wasn't sure how to reply at first, she knew something was bothering him. He hardly hid frustration well, but not was not the time to press him.

"That's really good about the baby. Have you spent time with her yet? I'm sure Duffy will wake up soon, it's better she sleeps. She's got a lot to recover from. She's going to want to know all about her daughter when she wakes. Did they have to go forward with a hysterectomy?" He knew she was right, but it didn't make it easier to accept. He just didn't want to be anywhere but with his wife.

"Not really. I've watched her. Duffy's mum has been there a lot and Charlie. No, they didn't. It was very close, so I'm told. I told them they should have gone ahead with it. We are certainly not having another after this. But, then again, we said that last time as she still insisted we did it again, didn't she?!" Sighing she knew she was just going to have to say it.

"Andrew. I know it's hard, you came so close to losing Duffy but it's not the baby's fault or Duffy's. You know that. You have a beautiful baby girl. Don't let everything that happened get in the way of that. Go see your daughter."

Sitting in the chair he was glancing out the window, his mind clouded with the events of the past day. Andrew was finally seeing his daughter, at the insistence of Colette, so he'd promised him he'd sit with Duffy in case she woke up. She was on heavy medication thanks to the surgery and pre-eclampsia, so it was no real surprise she hadn't woke, it was better for her to sleep anyway. He was just thankful her blood pressure appeared to be returning to normal, although slowly. His mind was so much so else where he didn't hear her at first.

"Charlie?" Nothing, her voice was weak, she tries again. "Charlie?" Swinging round he's surprised to hear her, smiling he reaches forward to take her hands.

"Hello you. It's good to see you awake." Rolling her head across the pillow she looks around the room before looking back to Charlie.

"What's happened?" looking down at her own figure she begins to panic. "Charlie?!" Squeezing her hands gently he quickly attempts to calm her down before her blood pressures rises.

"Don't panic. Everything is fine, I promise. The baby is doing really well. I'll get someone to get Andrew for you." Standing up she didn't appear to believe him, her chest still rising too quickly. He tries again before leaving the room.

"I promise you, the baby is fine. It's you that's worried us all." He knew she would need details about the baby but that was for Andrew to share with her, not himself. They'd already lost out on so many moments you got in any normal birth, he didn't want to take anything else anyway too. He only hoped Andrew had got a grip and would be there for her, for both of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Quickly thanking Charlie before rushing into the room he knew where her mind would be focussed and despite just spending over an hour with their daughter he couldn't give her the details she would need. She was almost looked asleep still when he approached her, so still. Trying to keep his emotions in check fails almost instantly as a stray tear escapes. The emotion over the past 24 hours finally getting the better of him.

"Promise me you'll never scare me like that again. I thought I'd lost you." Confusion filled her face as she watches her emotional husband sit down and take her hands into his quite like Charlie had done. Her voice is still weak, her memory blank and understanding small. Despite Charlie's attempt she was yet to grasp how seriously ill she'd been, but then why would she? She didn't remember any of it. Right now she didn't care how ill she'd been or why he appeared so worried and broken. Not if it was for her.

"The baby?" Smiling, purely for her sake he nods. Right now he didn't wish to go too much into details, she'd only get more upset. However he was aware it was something he needed to explain. Despite how well she was doing she was still six weeks premature, a lot of problems and worry came with that.

"Fine, doing really well. I'm sure they'll let me take you to NICU as soon as you're able."

"NICU?!" Panic again he could see it all over her face even if she couldn't convey it in her voice. Then he realised, she didn't even know yet. Quickly he tries to reassure her that what was going through her mind was probably wrong. Yes she was ill and in NICU but it could have been so much worse, she was coping, stable, and that wasn't something all premature babies could do.

"Don't panic it's normal practice at 34 weeks and under the circumstances. You know that. She'll be home in no time, she's her mothers daughter that's for sure." Worry turned to shock, she hadn't asked as she'd just assumed.

"Circumstances? What circumstances? What happened? Wait..What did you just..? She? Daughter?!" Just like he expected, tears. Lots of them. They hadn't found out the sex this time, not with everything going on but he knew she'd assumed it was another boy just like he had. Any names discussed had always been boys. A girl was totally unexpected. Through her tears she managed a reply.

"I've not prepared for a girl" Smiling, again for her benefit he once more takes her hands into his.

"I know it wasn't what I expected either." Trying to get her head around it all she keeps ahold of his hands.

"What does she weigh?" He considered not answering but it would only upset her more.

"4lbs 4oz." More upset, her nursing experience and knowledge was hidden away right now, she should know that it was a normal weight for a baby that early but it shocked her. Okay, yes it was on the smaller end of what was expected but with all the problems she'd faced in the pregnancy it could have been worse.

"That's too tiny...This is all my fault." The words came out without any idea of what had happened and why. She didn't care, she blamed herself. With all the stress she'd faced in this pregnancy and near loss she'd done what she could to slow down but it wasn't enough. Shaking his head at her he leans in closer.

"Don't Lisa, don't go there. You couldn't have done anything to prevent this. What do you remember?" Wracking her mind she remembered next to nothing but she was carrying her, how could it not be her fault?

"Not much. I remember been in bed, my head was splitting and you coming in to talk to me. My feet were still sore I mentioned it or something to you and then nothing." If she'd thought for a second back to the memory in detail she'd have realised what happened but she didn't, she was too focussed on the baby.

"You had pre-eclampsia Duffy. It came on so fast. It wasn't just your feet that were swollen, your face and hands were too. You refused to open your eyes and you were curled up with abdominal pain. I knew as soon as I seen you, I phoned an ambulance but..." His voice falters as he forces himself to think back to a memory he never wanted to live through again. "But we weren't quick started fitting in the ambulance. They did an emergency C-section but you were haemorrhaging so much. I thought I'd lost you." She didn't know what she expected to be honest but it wasn't that. Taking in the information she'd been given she began to finally think like a nurse, taking in what it all meant as Andrew kisses her hands.

"Oh. That's not what I expected. Have I had a hysterectomy? If all this...What day is it?" Shaking his head he refuses to let go of her.

"No, no you haven't. They avoided it...just. They were about to go ahead with it when you finally began to stop bleeding. It's Wednesday." Trying to control her emotions finally she began to understand what Andrew must have been put through.

"They should have just done it. It's not like I need it now." He expected that comment, she'd made a similar one after Jake was born. She didn't mean it though, that he knew. " I need to see her. I can't just lie here." His face quickly changed, not sure if he was up to dealing with the reaction he knew she'd have on seeing their newborn daughter.

"I said that to them. I'll need to check Duffy. You're on medication to bring your blood pressure down and I doubt they'll want you up and about just yet." Sighing she glares, she wasn't going to give up. It was bad enough she'd missed out on her first day but she wasn't missing anything else. She didn't even know anything about her, other than weight.

"I'll go in a wheelchair. They can't expect me to lie here all day!" Outrage now, did she really believe he was going to let her walk there?! She'd only just woke up, he didn't even want her sitting yet. She wasn't going to make this easy was she?

"I"m not even considering taking you any other way! You've just had major surgery! You'll open up your stitches. Look I'll go ask." Getting up he leaves the room already making a plan on how to distract her in his head incase they refused. If he'd been her doctor he'd refuse, she needed rest but he knew his wife well enough to know she'd point blank refuse to do as she was told until they gave in and he couldn't really blame her. Who could?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

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The days and weeks seemed to merge together with little sleep and next to no time at home he was even more convinced in his opinion that they shouldn't have gone down this road. Taking a break in the staffroom despite obviously not working right now he sighs as he drinks his coffee. The peace wasn't to last seconds later Colette burst into the room moaning to herself.

"Oh Andrew. I didn't see you there." Smiling up at her he laughs slightly.

"So I noticed. Bad day?" Rolling her eyes she pours herself a coffee before taking a seat next to Andrew.

"That obvious is it?" Nodding his mind returns to his wife and kids.

"Just a little." Sighing he shakes his head. "Join the club." Annoyance left her face as worry took over.

"Everything alright? The baby's okay isn't she?" Fed up Andrew shrugs.

"I assume so. Duffy's with her." His voice was pissed, she knew that straight off. His next sentence just confirmed it. "It's where she always bloody is." Concerned she raises her eyebrows.

"Where to do you expect her to be? What is it Andrew? What's wrong?" Shaking his head again he isn't keen to open up.

"Nothing. You wouldn't understand." She wasn't giving up that easily.

"Try me." Looking up at her he knew she'd side with his wife he nearly refuses again but he changes his mind as Colette places her hand on his leg.

"Fine but don't get angry at me. I tried to warn you. I just wish she'd listened to me. If she had we wouldn't be going through this, we'd most likely be at home with the boys or at work not practically living in NICU barely talking. I've tried to talk to her but she doesn't care, she only cares about the baby and the boys." She knew he meant when he attempted to convince Duffy to go through with an abortion but she wasn't shocked, she suspected he felt this way.

"I'm not going to judge you Andrew, you can't help the way you feel." Unintentionally they moved slightly closer than they already were. "You should talk to Duffy. It's no wonder your struggling after everything you've been through." He laughs. Them talk? Ha!

"I'm just a glorified sperm donor to her." Shaking her head she moves slightly closer to him again. Not thinking.

"That's not true. You've been married for years." Looking into her eyes he wasn't thinking either. He needed someone. His wife had Charlie why can't he have someone?

"It is. She left me once she was pregnant with Peter. She's not the women you think she is."

"What about you? Are you the man I think you are?" They were practically touching now, too close.

"I'm not sure. What do you think of me?" Moving in she kisses him softly at first, expecting him to pull away but instead he responds as the kiss becomes more passionate and desperate.

Up in NICU she pushed the exhaustion out of her mind. As far as her own recovery was going slowly was the best fitting word. She was still in pain and weak but she was trying to split herself too much between the three kids. Food was a distant memory as was sleep. she was aware the boys were struggling with all this upheaval and not knowing who was going to be home or when. She only hoped they'd all be home soon. As for Andrew she knew something was wrong with him but she just kept telling herself she didn't care. There was too much going through her head to give a damn. He hadn't been great when Jake was born either, again not the easiest labour which also had resulted in an emergency C-section. He was great with toddlers but as for babies and children he was useless, more interested in fun than discipline and refused to get his hands dirty. In her weak moments she wonders why she's still with him. Then she sees her boys eyes light up on seeing him and all thoughts disappear. She was trying to keep her eyes open when he approached her. He'd been up everyday but even then it was hard to watch her almost disappear in front of him. She was just a shell, running on auto pilot. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen her eat and despite what remained of her bump been obvious the rest of her seemed to shrink before his eyes. Today he planned to steer her away from NICU and to the canteen, just to reassure himself she'd at least eaten something today.

"Hey you two." Glancing up she smiles at her best friend, glad to see a friendly face.

"Hey." Smiling at the tiny baby before his eyes he places his hand on her shoulders.

"How's trouble today? Any changes?"

"No she's the same as yesterday. I'm just glad she's finally breathing on her own, they are going to see if she'll feed properly today. hopefully she'll be home next week if all goes well." Smiling he's so relieved to hear that.

"That's brilliant Duffy. You'll be so relieved. Does trouble have a name yet?"

"I can't wait to get her home, neither can the boys." Rolling her eyes she sighs. "No she doesn't. I'm tempted to just name her without him." He couldn't help but noticed she didn't mention Andrew been excited, he'd barely seen him over the past week. Something wasn't right. But it wasn't his place to ask, she'd tell him if she wanted him to know.

"Still not agreeing?" Playing with her hands she breaks slightly, the mask slipping.

"Don't two people have to actually talk to disagree?" Worried he sits next to her, his eyes watching her daughter sleep.

"Duffy? What's going on?" Shrugging she can't bring her head up.

"I don't know. I don't see him. He comes in with me and spends all day in his office or the god knows where." Breaking completely her tears she's refused to let go over the past two weeks finally escape. "He won't even look at her Charlie." Putting his arms around her he takes her into a hug.

"Oh Duffy I'm sure he's just struggling to come to terms with everything that happened. It's not easy for either of you, things will settle once you get home." Her reply came from where she hid her head in his chest.

"It's not. He didn't want this. He still doesn't want this. I can't keep pretending we aren't falling apart Charlie." Trying to comfort his emotionally and physically exhausted friend he wanted to convince her she was wrong but in reality he agreed with her. He could see it the day their daughter was born two weeks ago. Maybe he never did change his mind, maybe it was all an act. She'd been through so much as it was the last thing she needed was a divorce with two boys and a premature newborn to take care of. Andrew was deluded if he believed she'd just sit and take this. She'd take anything he could throw at her, the affair for example, but not when it was aimed at her children.

Walking back up to NICU he tries to push what he'd just done out his mind but was struggling. With Colette of all people, one of his wives best friends. But it wasn't regret he felt or guilt but then he didn't last time he cheated on his wife either. There was something about Colette that caught his attention, he wanted to see her again despite knowing how ridiculous it was. Moments before arriving at NICU he texts her number. 'Can I see you tonight? A x' He doesn't expect a reply, not everyone was as down right stupid as he was so to say he was surprised at her answer was an understatement. 'Will wait for you in the carpark at 8. C x'

Smiling he places his phone back in his pocket as he heads to his wife and daughter. Of course they weren't alone, bloody Charlie Fairhead was there. But something wasn't right. He had his arm around her, she'd been crying. Why? She was fine when he left her.

"Lisa? What's wrong?" Charlie could feel her tense up on hearing her husbands voice but she refused to move or answer him, leaving it to him.

"She's just tired and needs some food. I'm just going to take her to get something to eat." He knew he was lying although he was right, she did need to eat something but Duffy was still refusing to look at him. Did she know? But how? No one seen them. Did they?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four.

He should be with his wife. His kids. His baby. But no he wasn't. He was lying on top of her bed, not dressed smoking a cigarette. He hadn't smoked since before he met Lisa. It felt good though. Too good. She enters her room, a dressing gown now on with nothing underneath it and two coffees in her hands. Passing him one she smiles as she sits next to him.

"You'll need to shower before you go." Nodding to the cigarette she begins to drink the coffee. "She'll smell that." Leaning over he kisses her desperately.

"What about you? Will she smell you?" Breathing her in he smiles. "You smell so amazing." Smiling she kisses him back before pulling away.

"Go for your shower, she'll wonder where you are." Laughing he forces himself up from the bed.

"No she won't. She doesn't care. She's too busy with the kids." Smoking a cigarette herself now she watches his movements around the room. Shaking her head at his recklessness she stands up herself.

"You are trying to get us caught. She's not stupid." He might not care if she found out but she did despite what she was doing she didn't want to hurt Duffy. She didn't deserve this but it didn't stop her sleeping with her friends husband.

"She didn't care last time." Getting dressed, not caring about the shower maybe he just wanted to hurt his wife. Was she right? Did he want to be caught?  
"Last time you weren't with someone she knew." Smiling he like how she played down their relationship but he did have joy in reminding her.

"If by last time I wasn't sleeping with one of her best friends then you're right I wasn't." Glaring at him she finishes her cigarette, stubbing it out on the tray at her bedside.

"Hmm. You should go back to your wife Andrew. You might not care if she figures this out but I do." Having got dressed he turns his attention back to Colette.

"Are you finishing with me?" Shaking her head she instantly denies it, walking up to him and kissing him again.

"I didn't say that! we just need to be careful." Responding more passionately and desperate he forgets their conversation as he pulls off her dressing gown, pushing her back down onto the bed. All intentions of going home forgotten.

At home Duffy hadn't really taken much notice of Andrews absence, she told herself he was at work. Since he'd taken the consultants post and gone back to work she barely saw him and if she were honest she didn't really care anymore. The boys had just had dinner and were now pretending to do their homework whilst she cleared away the remains with her daughter asleep in her bassinet. They'd finally be able to go home last week but it wasn't like taking a newborn home. Charlotte, who she finally named without much input from Andrew, still needed more care but at least they didn't think she'd have any long lasting problems. As for herself she was still finding recovery difficult, the pain was refusing to adapt but then again she wasn't meant to be lifting anything. That was a bit impossible when her husband refused to come home and spent all day at work. What also didn't help was although Charlotte was quite a good sleeper she spent all night worried about her and didn't sleep herself. Before she could think much more a knock at the door distracted her.

Smiling as she answered the door his heart sunk on seeing her. He hadn't managed to get round to see her since she went home until now. He'd hoped she'd look at least a bit better now she was home but she looked worse. She was dressed in a t-shirt at least two or three sizes too big with leggings that weren't much better. Of course no new mum looked amazing or done up, that's not what worried him. No what was on his mind was how quickly she had lost the baby weight, even her stomach seemed to disappear. She'd had problems with eating in the past he was worried she'd got back into old habits.

"Hello." Kissing her cheek as she returns the greeting he steps into her home and follows her into the kitchen. You wouldn't know their was a newborn here, the kitchen was immaculate. He watches her as she flicks on the kettle before turning his attention to a still sleeping Charlotte.

"Hello darling." One thing that made him slightly less worried was to see how great Charlotte looked, even if she was still tiny.

"Coffee?" Nodding he sighs the worry returning, she was still struggling with the pain after the C-section. Her movements made it obvious to him.

"Still not sleeping?" Rubbing her eyes she nods, sitting down as she waits for the kettle to boil.

"I look that bad then?" Shaking his head, worried he's offended her, he quickly explains himself.

"No, of course not. It's just this kitchen is too tidy for anyone with kids never mind a newborn."

"I've got to do something whilst I can't sleep." Getting back up as the kettle clicks off he's more worried than he was before he arrived now.

"How about relax? You're obviously still in a lot of pain. Have you told your GP?" Continuing to make the coffee, something she was in desperate need for, she avoids his gaze.

"He's given me strong painkillers." Taking the cup from her he watches her painfully sit back down, this couldn't continue.

"Well you're obviously not taking them Duffy." Watching the dark liquid in her hands she still refuses to meet his gaze, she couldn't.

"I can't." Putting his own cup down the table forcefully he's beginning to get frustrated. Why was Andrew letting this continue? What was he playing at?

"Why not?" She knew he was only going to get more upset the more she told him but there was no way to get his mind onto something else.

"I fall asleep with them."

"So? You need sleep." She was hiding something, he could guess what but he wanted to be sure. "Why is sleep such a problem?"

"I can't hear Charlotte with them."

"Can't Andrew get up with her?" Again silence. "Duffy?" Finally looking up at him she sighs, knowing where this was going. As for Charlie he couldn't wait to see Andrew, he'd have a few choice words for him next time.

"No. He's never here Charlie. He's always at work for some bloody reason or another. When he does appear he just sleeps and eats." Shaking his head he can't help but show his annoyance. Not to mention he didn't believe this story, he'd been doing a lot of hours himself and hadn't seen Andrew much out his usual shifts. Whatever Andrew was doing, it wasn't work. If he was back to cheating on her after everything he could quite easily kill him. Of course he was jumping to conclusions but it was Andrew. Not that she was buying it either.

"What? You aren't even meant to be picking her up Duffy! No wonder your in so much pain! This can't go on, you'll put yourself back in hospital!" Getting annoyed herself now she raises her own voice.

"Well what am I supposed to do?!" Before she could continue soft crying breaks her attention, woken up by the raised voices. "Oh darling." Despite knowing she isn't supposed to she stands up and goes to pick up Charlotte but before she gets a chance Charlie stops her.

"No. Sit down, I'll get her." Getting up himself he takes the tiny baby into his arms and begins to comfort her. Despite the distraction the conversation wasn't over, he wasn't letting this go so easily.

Heading through the hall he pops his head into the living room where his sons were lying spread out watching some awful cartoon they'd watched a hundred times before.

"That doesn't look like homework you two. Where's your mum?" The reply was distant, from Peter as Jake completely ignored him. Must really like the film.

"Kitchen." A pause before adding. "With Uncle Charlie." Oh great just what he needed. Saint Charlie. Heading straight to the kitchen he finds Lisa sitting at the table looking like she could cry with exhaustion, or what he assumed was exhaustion and Charlie comforting his daughter. At first they didn't notice him but as soon as they did he knew Charlie was furious with him. The death stare was obvious. What had Lisa said?

"Hello. Someone upset?" She didn't look up, her eyes on Charlie.

"She needs fed. Pass her to me Charlie." Shaking his head he finds his voice, unable to shut up.

"I'll give her the bottle. I'm not happy with how much pain your in. Why don't you take your pain killers and go for a sleep?" Confusion on his part now. What pain?

"Pain? Lisa? You told me it was better." Swinging round he shoots him a look once more, pathetic.

"Really Andrew? Take one look at her and it's obvious she's struggling!" Looking back to Lisa she shuts her eyes, shaking her head.

"Charlie for gods sake please don't do this."

"I'm sorry Duffy but as I said you'll end up back in hospital, you nearly died four weeks ago. You need rest and support. Not this."

"Not what? What are you trying to say Charlie?" Getting to her feet, as quick as she could she takes her baby from her best friend, pleading with him.

"Charlie please! Look I'll call mum and ask her to help for a while. I don't need this right now." Giving in purely because her face broke him he sighs, gives her a kiss on the cheek whilst making her promise she would before leaving, ignoring Andrews demands to know what was going on. As soon as the door was shut he was at her face.

"Lisa? What on earth was that about?" Still comforting her daughter who really needed fed now she heads back for the kitchen.

"Don't. Just don't." Sitting down, trying to get comfy to feed Charlotte she finally looks up at him. "Just go to bed. Don't pretend you give a shit."

"Where has this come from? Of course I care!"

"I can't do this right now! Either go to bed and leave me alone or just go back to your mistresses house. Or whatever you're pretending 'work' is now."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

Walking up, having finally got a little sleep, she instantly realises her daughter is not where she left her. Sitting up urgently its then she realises her husbands not there either. Getting up and out of bed quickly she couldn't understand what was going on, in the five weeks since she'd been born Andrew had never helped with her care, unless cuddling counted, even after Charlie's spat at him last week. As she reaches the bottom of the stairs she decides her mum must be here, she'd been around a lot over the past week. As much as she hated to rely on her, on anyone, having that extra support was really helping. She was no long in constant pain and did manage to get a little sleep now and then. Finally reaching the kitchen you could have knocked her over with a feather when she spotted Andrew sitting at the table feeding Charlotte.

"Morning." She couldn't even muster a 'morning' back. What was he up to? She just stood there looking confused. A few moments passed before she could think of anything to say back.

"Sorry, I...I didn't hear her." As Charlotte finishes feeding he moves her into a different position but his eyes are on his wife.

'Well you wouldn't. I took her down the stairs when I got up, thought you could do with the sleep." Nope that was enough for her. What on earth had got into him? Through a yawn she quizzes him whilst eying him suspiciously.

"What is wrong with you? Have you got bad news or something?" Confusion now hit him, what was she talking about?

"Excuse me?" Having made herself coffee she takes a seat next to them, still wondering what was going on.

"She is 5 weeks old Andrew and the most you've ever done is pick her up. You can barely look at her most days, now this. I'm confused." Guilt washed over his face, not that it happened often but it was obvious to her.

"I know." Looking down at his still tiny daughter he sighs. "I'm sorry. I've behaved like a prat recently." Nodding she wasn't going to argue with him on that one. Since Charlie's spat he'd been home more and helped more with the boys but as for Charlotte he hadn't changed. She just assumed he was worried she'd get an infection or something and they'd he really would have to do everything.

"I know you have. Why the change? Charlie hasn't spoke to you again has he?" Shaking his head she was wrong but not as wrong as you might think.

"No not Charlie." Looking up at Lisa he could see the worry on her face. "Your mum. What she said doesn't matter but she made sense." She didn't look convinced or pleased, he still had more work to do. "Look whatever you're thinking is wrong. I don't regret us having her Lisa it's just...I came so close to loosing you that I shut down. I blamed her and that was wrong of me but I don't want her growing up thinking I don't love her like I love the boys. I know I should have just spoke to you about it but I didn't want to upset you and instead I just made everything worse."

Some hours later she was curled up the couch with Lottie fast asleep on her chest when the doorbell distracted her. She'd not really stopped thinking about Andrew since their conversation this morning. She still didn't quite understand his change in behaviour yet despite his best attempt but she quite often didn't understand him. But something told her all was not as it seemed, then a thought entered her mind. One she didn't like. With Lottie still asleep in her arms against her chest she answers the door, not sure who to expect.  
"Oh Hello." Smiling she steps aside to allow her guest in. "It's good to see you Colette." She hadn't seen her since they'd got home, not that she was bothered or anything. Life was busy. Still it was nice to see people, save her from the constant housework and day time television.

"Hey. How are you both?" She couldn't say she was too keen to go visit her friend, not under the circumstances but Charlie was worried about her and it was beginning to worry her. Obviously not for the same reasons. Why he was worried she didn't know, he refused to betray her by revealing. He'd simply reply with 'go see her for yourself, see if you think I'm overreacting.'

"Oh fine thanks." Heading to the kitchen she updates Colette on how much Charlotte had improved in the past two weeks, no longer needing oxygen and the such. "Tea? Coffee?"

"Tea please. What about yourself? How are you getting on?" One thing she had noticed was how tiny Duffy appeared, was this what Charlie was worried about? If so he was overreacting, every women lost weight after having a baby at different rates. She was a busy mum she'd hardly have time to remember every meal with three kids. Not to mention a quite absent husband.

"As well as can be expected with two hyper kids and a 5 week old, not to mention a husband who acts like a child." On the mention of Andrew she felt her heart rate increase. It took a special kind of bitch to cheat with her friends husband but it was something else to then sit in their kitchen having tea as if she'd done nothing wrong.

"How's he adapting to it all?" Passing Colette the tea she takes a seat after putting her daughter down, considering her answer as she does.

"Pass." Raising her eyebrows she didn't quite know where this was going to lead, if she had she'd have shut up.

"Pass? Not well then?" Ignoring her own tea she keeps an eye on her baby, not looking at Colette. She didn't want to talk about Andrew, anything or anyone but him. If she'd come round yesterday it would have been different but not now. Not now that everything seemed to click into place.

"No. Well I don't know." She assumed they'd had a fight, Andrew mentioned they weren't really talking right now. It had to be that right?

"Duffy?" She of course had made a flippant remark at Andrew last week about him 'going back to his mistresses house' but she hadn't meant it. She was exhausted and sore, it just came out and she'd told him that. But now, she wasn't so sure.

"I might be wrong here but I think he's seeing someone else again." Colette nearly chocked on her tea, forcing her to cough.

"What makes you think that? You've just had a baby, I'm sure he's just working." Shrugging she didn't know where she was going with this. She had no proof.

"I don't know Colette. It's probably been going on for weeks, months even. I never really see him, he's always working and when he is here he's distant. I never thought anything of it but now he's helping, even with Lottie this morning." Confused she shakes her head.

"That's a bad thing?" Sighing he nods, trying to explain herself.

"The last time he was this helpful was just before he admitted he was seeing her." She felt dirty with her words.

"Oh Duffy I'm sure he's not. He was so worried about you he's probably struggling to get over the birth. He was in some state when Charlotte was born. He's probably just come to his senses." She wasn't convinced.

"That's what he said." Placing her cup on the table she smiles, hoping this conversation was over.

"See." Something was off. Wrong. How did she know how Andrew felt?

"Has he spoken to you about it?" She felt the colour drain from her, not this route please.

"Why do you ask that?" Giving her friend a look she sighs.

"He has then..."

Guilt was getting to her. It had to eventually. It wasn't stopping her though was it? No, not as she got dressed whilst watching Andrew do similar at the other side of the room. What kind of person was she? Who did this?

"She knows." Swinging round, trousers in his hand, he wonders where that came from. Who knows what?

"Eh?" Rolling her eyes at him she gives him a 'are you kidding me?' look.

"Duffy knows about us." Shaking off her concern he turns his attention back to getting dressed. She was overreacting, again.

"She doesn't. If she did she wouldn't have let you in the house this afternoon." Raising her eyebrows she didn't expect that. How did he find that out? She hadn't told him. This situation might be really messed up but the hardly discussed Duffy on a regular basis and they certainly talk about her tonight. Or anything for that matter.

"You know about that? Well she doesn't know it's me but she knows your seeing someone." Trying to reassure her he hunts for his shirt around the room, he really needed to head.

"Of course I do, she told me on the phone earlier when I said I was working late. What makes you say that? She's emotional at the moment, I wouldn't take any heed." Shaking her head she gives up any attempt to get dressed, he wasn't listening.

"She's not emotional she's right! She told me she's convinced you're seeing someone." Finding his shirt he buttons it up quickly whilst looking for the rest of his clothes on the floor. He was late.

"Ah right. Well don't worry about it. She knew last time too. She won't do anything and she won't want to know who it is or anything."

"How can you stand there so cold about it? Last time was different! She didn't know the people you worked with!" Laughing at her, did she realise she played a part in this too? Standing there all high and mighty.

"She'll assume it's Fiona again. I'm cold? You went and seen her today and most likely reassured her I wasn't cheating. You can talk."

"She knows I've been talking to you, properly talking." He wasn't following at all. Did she really think Lisa was going to figure it all out because they talked? Hardly.

"Oh talking. Yeah because that automatically means sex." Getting frustrated now she stands back up, her voice raised.

"Seriously Andrew she isn't going to keep standing for this! She nearly left you when she was pregnant do you really think she won't now?" Finally he was dressed, shoes on in all but now he felt he couldn't leave the room. Not when she was so upset. What had Lisa said? Or had Colette finally realised what she was doing?

"Why are you so bothered if she left me? Will it destroy your goody good image or something?" She wasn't explaining herself well here at all was she? She couldn't be because he wasn't getting it.

"Well yes, I don't want people to find out. Do you? it's not like we are serious is it? I don't want you to leave her for me you know. I do care about her." He needed to go now, Duffy would really know what was going on if he was any later.

"Yeah really looks like you do. Don't make out like I'm the horrible husband Colette, you play a part too."

"I know I do! I can't keep doing this Andrew. We need to stop this before more people get involved."


	6. Chapter 6

Pushing the pram down the street she'd decided it was easier to walk, even if it was quite a distance away, as Charlotte was not a big fan of the car right now. What was the point in forcing her in the car just for her to cry the whole way there and then have to spend god knows how long calming her down at the other side? It wasn't worth it. Plus she could do with the exercise, it had been three months now since she'd had Lottie and despite thinking she'd done quite well to get rid of the baby weight, and then some, she needed to tone up. Not that her figure was anywhere near her list of priorities but rather something that took her mind of Andrew. Well that's what she told herself anyway. As far as Lottie went she was doing really well no longer needing any extra care just extra appointments but she was still tiny for her age, probably always would be, and Duffy had to deal with strange looks if they asked how old she was. At 3 months old Charlotte weighed 9lbs 2oz which considering she was born weighing 4lbs 4oz Duffy was delighted. As for Andrew things had actually improved slightly. Ever so slightly. He seemed more confident in his job and calmer at home, he had bonded finally with Charlotte getting into his own routine with her. But there was still something, something she couldn't put her finger on. Maybe he was right, maybe it was her hormones but the fact he still worked more than she expected him too wasn't helping. Arriving at Colette's she pushes her thoughts on Andrew out of her mind.

Despite her best intentions she was still seeing Andrew behind Duffy's back. They'd lasted three days before ending up back in bed together. What was wrong with them? What kind of people did this? Whilst his wife was at home looking after his three children and recovering he was with her. It wasn't right. They'd slowed down how often they seen each other to once or twice a week, it was just too obvious before. Not to mention if they got found out it wasn't just their personal lives they were destroying but their careers. She could hardly work with Duffy if this came out could she? Nor would Andrew receive any respect as a consultant, Duffy was too well known and liked. Then it hit her as she waited from her friend to arrived, she was only worried how this would affect herself not the kids or her friend. She really was a selfish bitch wasn't she? But there was just something about him, like a drug she couldn't give up.

Thankfully it was a nice enough day to leave the pram outside, who wanted to heave that inside? Slowly picking up a sleeping Lottie she greets and smiles at her friend before following her to the kitchen. Of course as soon as they got inside Lottie woke up, shifting her into a better position she continues her conversation with Colette as she comforts her daughter.

"So how's work?" Standing at the corner she opens the cupboard to take out two cups distracted by Lottie.

"Short staffed as always, the usual. Tea or Coffee?" Reaching into her bag she retrieves her daughters dummy hoping it would settle her.

"Coffee. Please. I seem to live off the stuff right now." Biting back the tempted to reply 'Yes it looks that way too.' Colette instead focusses on the task in front of her and changes the conversation slightly. Charlie was still worried about her, not that he said much about it but she could tell. At first she told him he was overreacting but as time went on Duffy continued to shrink before their eyes and she felt guilty for it. Was this her way of coping with everything at home?

"How's everything with you?" Gladly accepting the coffee she bites her lip before answering. How can you answer that? She was coping but life with a premature baby and two children was constant chaos.

"Ah fine. The kids are great and Lottie is doing really well now. Chaos seems to be the new normal."

"And you? What about work? Are going to come back?" Avoiding the first question she instead focuses on the second one. She just didn't know how she was anymore.

"Oh I'll be back but I'm not sure when. I didn't plan to take much time off really but now with everything I don't know." Wrongly she hoped she'd say she wasn't going to return, it would make everything easier. Easier to sleep with her best friends husband if she wasn't there to notice anything.

"No need to rush. Lottie needs you more than Holby does." Getting to her feet she puts her cup in the sink. "Coming through to the living room?"

Some time later the two women were sitting quite comfortably in the living room, Lottie just waking up once more. As the tiny tot stretched in her mothers arms she spits out her dummy and begins to cry.

"Ooh Lottie you are not a happy girl today are you?" Looking for the dummy she spots it just under the coffee table, knowing her daughters cries would only get louder without it she slowly and carefully places her on the couch as she gets to her knees.

"Having a bad day darling?" Watching the tot beside her on the couch she address Duffy when she doesn't seem to move. "You got it?" But nothing, she doesn't reply. Looking up she wonders what's wrong with her. Then she spots it. What Duffy is holding in her hand and it's not the dummy. Finally Duffy finds her voice.

"Why do you have this?" Trying to lie she shrugs as Duffy gets to her feet, the dummy in her other hand.

"A watch?" The look of fire in Duffy's eyes were terrifying, she'd never seen her like that, even more terrifying was that her voice didn't match. No it remained soft as not to upset her daughter.

"Andrews watch. Don't deny it's his Colette. It's engraved. Now answer me why is this here?!" Dropping it into her supposed friends lap, she normally would have thrown it but she sat too close to Lottie, she picks up her baby before stepping away from Colette.

"I…I…He came to see me. Must of dropped it." Now she really was terrified, that look. It was a look that told her if Charlotte hadn't been in her arms Colette would have got a sharp slap across her face.

"Really? That's the best you can come up with? After everything Colette! How could you do this to me?! You of all people know what he put me through! I thought you were my friend!" Getting to her own feet now she desperately tries to lie.

"I am! I don't know what you are talking about." Stepping back again she needs to leave, leave before she does something she'll regret. Shaking her head she begins to head out the door.

"You are really a terrible liar! I told you I thought he was seeing someone else and you had the bloody guts to try to convince me otherwise when it was you! You bitch! Are you that desperate?!" Following her she couldn't let her go like this. As Duffy puts her daughter into her pram, the door now open, she tries once more.

"Duffy listen to me. Please! You've got it all wrong!" Swiftly she swings around and slaps her so hard Colette steps back reeling from the deserved attack.

"Don't! You've made enough of a fool out of me already! You want my husband that bad? Have him! You deserve each other!"

Running her hands through her hair she attempts in vain to calm herself down as Duffy walks out of sight. She didn't know what to do. Go after her? No. It wasn't worth it, it wouldn't help. She needed to warn Andrew, before Duffy got a hold of him. Rushing to her phone she quickly finds his name, hoping he'd answer.

"Look I'm rather busy. Can I call you back?" His voice was frustrated she couldn't help but think on how much worse his day was about to get. Obviously he was around others, someone who couldn't hear.

"She knows." Sighing he wasn't up to this, he had a meeting to get to and paperwork to catch up on.

"Who knows what?" Her eyes remained on the street, half expecting Duffy to come back.

"Duffy knows about us." Not this again. How many times did they go through this?

"Look we've been through this already, she doesn't." He wasn't listening! He never listened!

"She does! She's just found your watch at mine. She knows!" Silence, near enough as he obviously walked away from whoever he was around and into his office.

"What?! Shit! What did she do?!" Now sitting in his chair he began to panic, he needed to go home. Get their before she'd had time to think.

"Not very much, she had Charlotte. She was angry and upset then she slapped me and left."

"Shit. I need to go. I need to go home before she does something."

"Does what?"

"What do you think?! Kicks me out!"

By the time Andrew made it home, he had meetings to rearrange and jobs to pass on, his wife car wasn't there. Panicking more he knew that meant her mother had it which meant the kids were gone. She hadn't rung him, she knew Colette would do it. Walking through the door he was met with a suitcase at the door as well as various other possessions of his. The house was quiet. Reaching the kitchen he finds her sat with coffee but that wasn't all. She wasn't alone.

"Lisa? Lisa we need to talk. I can explain." She didn't even look up, no instead it was bloody Saint Charlie who answered as he got to his feet.

"No Andrew. Just go. Not even you can talk your way out of this one." Duffy turned her back to them both but despite her best attempts he could hear her crying as Charlie once more politely requested him to leave his own home.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was a quiet shift. He however had a lot to do. There was a budget to sort, rota to fix not to mention a mountain of paperwork needing doing but it seemed everyone was determined to prevent him from getting through it. If it wasn't management popping down to discuss various 'issues' or Max complaining about management complaining it was various members of staff constantly coming in to request holidays. Still as expected it wasn't five minutes before another knock at the door broke his concentration.

"Come in." It was an automatic response, he didn't even so much as lift his head to see who was at the door. If he had he might not have answered. The door slowly crept open before shutting at a similar speed. When no one seemed to be speaking to him he finally lifts his head from his paperwork to find Colette standing before him. She looked dreadful.

"Yes?" He knew he was short, not his usual polite self but he had no time for her now. He'd be professional and nothing more. She wasn't due in tonight but he could guess why she'd appeared. This was the first time he'd seen her since he found out about the affair, a few days ago now. She'd had a long weekend off but he knew he'd have to face her eventually. Not that it made it any easier, he reminded himself he was her boss he had to behave like an adult.

"Can we talk?" She was still stood before him, looking so unsure and nervous which wasn't like her at all. He wanted to say no but he didn't have that choice.

"If it's important. I do have rather a lot of work to catch up on." No answer. She just looked more nervous. "Look Colette as far as I'm aware no one knows. Not unless you or Andrew have been telling people but I highly doubt that to be the case." She knew he knew before he'd even spoke a word to her the hate was already in his eyes. What had she been thinking? How on earth was she supposed to work with these people once everyone found out?

"You know." Swinging round in his chair he sighs.

"Well yes but I value Duffy as a friend far to much to break her trust and tell anyone anything. It's not my place and it's no one's business."Watching her relax slightly he instantly took the comfort away. "But they will find out. Duffy is rarely without a visitor from here and she won't hide the fact she's kicked him out. It's only a matter of time before they find out why." He could probably guess when they'd find out too. Tomorrow would be his best bet as he was well aware Chloe was visiting Duffy tomorrow, once Chloe knew everyone would know. Still maybe not it would all depend on how Duffy was feeling and how much she felt like sharing.

"I didn't mean to hurt her Charlie. It just happened."

"Don't bother Colette. I'm not going to sit here and try to make you feel better about any of this. There's no excuse you can give. Yes we are all human, we all make mistakes but theres a difference from having a fling or affair and sleeping with a close friends husband. You know as well as I do what he put her through. I thought better of you."

"I know. I don't deserve to be made to feel better. How is she?" He didn't wish to answer that. Not honestly anyway. She wasn't a mess or even close but she was suddenly a single mother to two children and a baby and as for the kids they were really struggling, it wasn't easy for her but then again it had only been a few days. Even if she had been a mess he wouldn't share that with anyone especially Colette.

"She's fine and I'm not going to say anymore about her, it's not for me to discuss." Finally moving from where she appeared frozen she sighs and hands him a letter.

"I know it's not. I wouldn't expect you to betray her." Having handed him the letter she begins to back out the room, offering only "I'll work my notice." Before leaving the room quickly.

The last few days seemed to have passed in a blur if she were honest. Trying to explain to the boys why their father had moved out was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. Of course as expected Andrew was not helpful in the slightest, he as usual left it to her. He'd attempted to argue with Charlie for some time that night but eventually she'd cracked, screamed at him to get out before breaking down as he finally understood it was over. The whole point of her mum taking the boys was so they didn't hear anything they shouldn't and of course so they could explain together what was going on without going into too much details. Well that had been the plan anyway. No instead Andrew had point blank refused to be there, yelling down the phone that She kicked him out so she couldn't explain it to the kids. Charlie had offered to stay and help explain but his presence was only going to have Peter assume she was in relationship with Charlie, not helpful. Despite their demands to know why she'd refused to reveal that Andrew had been seeing someone else instead explaining that sometimes this happens whilst explaining forcefully that it wasn't anyone's fault. When her own Dad ran out on her mum she'd blamed herself for years, despite only been three when he left and having no real memory of him, it was the last thing she wanted her kids to feel. She wasn't naive however she knew once the story got out the kids would eventually hear and they did need told but not right now. It was too raw. They needed to adjust to all this, as did she and as of yet they were yet to see Andrew. Well until now, the knock at the door signalled that he finally decided to face the music.

He was not coping well with this, between phone calls from Kate, Duffy and Colette his mind was a total disaster zone. He'd gone the only place he could, his best mate's flat. Thankfully he was single as Andrew knew full well any of his married friends would have been banned from helping him by their wives. Colette had tried to speak to him more than anyone else as of yet but he refused to give her the time of day. This afternoon she'd sent a simple text reading 'I'm handing in my notice today.' Not that he replied. He didn't care, his worry was his kids and wife not her. Kate had phoned him four times, all of which he'd ignored so after the last one she left him an angry voicemail telling him exactly what she thought of him. Not that he didn't know before. As for Duffy she'd rang twice, both of which he'd answered. The first time he had to admit he made the whole situation worse, ignoring what she was trying to tell him he'd ended up yelling at her before hanging up. The second time was this morning, short and to the point, she told him the boys needed to know their father hadn't ran out on them. He knew Lisa well enough to know she'd never stop him seeing the kids but he was also smart enough to know he had to be careful not to wind her up. She could make his life very difficult more so for getting any time with Charlotte. This isn't what he wanted, he didn't want to have to bargain with her to get to see his own children and there was work to think of. How on earth was he supposed to play this? They couldn't find out the truth, if he they did he was well handing in his notice like Colette. He'd already been asked what had happened, Peters friend Lucas had told his parents and his father happened to work in the hospital. Panicking Andrew avoided the truth by admitting Duffy had kicked him out letting the fellow consultant believe it was down to the recent birth of their third child and not his affair. Obviously Duffy hadn't told the boys the reason for their break up and that he was thankful for.

Sitting in the staffroom Chloe's head shot up on hearing the fellow nurses gossip.

"She hasn't?! That can't be true!" Louise, a nurse in ITU, nodded her head.

"I'm not kidding! Polly overhead Andrew telling Dr Rush yesterday, she's kicked him out." Chloe couldn't get her head around this news but one thing was for sure, she couldn't wait to see Duffy tomorrow now.

"But why? They've just had another baby." Louise shrugs, glancing at her watch aware she needed to head back upstairs.

"As far as Polly could hear Andrew was blaming the fact they'd just had a baby but I bet that's not the reason. He's quite a flirt upstairs you know."

"That doesn't make sense, she put up with him this past year and he was been a right prat. Why kick him out now?" Chloe scrunched up her face in disgust. "Andrew?! A flirt? Really?" Heading out the door now, aware she was late Louise couldn't help but get the last word.

"Oh yeah! He's a different man than when he's down here amongst his wife's friends. Believe me." Leaving Chloe alone again in the staffroom her mind was focussed completely on the gossip now. Someone had to know but she feared that person would only be Charlie and there was little point in trying to get him to tell her. Unless. Colette. She'd surely know?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

'We need to talk.' The text was short and simple but it put fear into him just as intended. A week had passed since she'd discovered the truth and he just couldn't get his head around it. This wasn't right. Surely she'd see sense soon and everything would go back to normal? Hadn't he been punished enough? Walking up his own garden towards his own door he knocks disliking this alien feeling and waits for his wife to answer. It was late morning the boys would be in school and Charlotte no doubt asleep like most babies her age. As expected it didn't take her long to answer the door. She's dressed in an oversized navy jumper that fell down her right shoulder and black jeans, the outfit hid how tiny she'd become not that he noticed that. Her hair is down and shines in the morning sun in a way you rarely see. Her skin was bare, bar the tinted moisturiser she'd flung on half an hour ago and mascara she insisted on wearing to hide her blonde lashes. She was beautiful without trying and he'd thrown it away. When he finally stopped staring he realised she was furious, her arms folded and eyes raging but why he hadn't a clue. Her voice was short as she stepped aside to let him past.

"Come in but be quiet. Charlotte is asleep." Stepping forward into the hall he allows her to close the door behind him.

"What's wrong?" Shaking her head she begins to head for the kitchen. That was not a good sign.

"Not here." Automatically she flicks the kettle on before leaning against the conter as he takes a seat.

"Seriously what's wrong?" Shutting her eyes she sighs, her arms still folded across her chest.

"I don't believe you, I really don't." Confused he gestures as much with his hands.

"Lisa I don't know what's going on." Taking in a deep breath her eyes were so full of contempt. He could drop the innocent act.

"I don't know why I'm surprised really, you did this last time we split up but again really? How dare you!" Getting to his own feet he attempts to place his hands on hers only for her to violently pull them apart away from him.

"Did what?!" Pushing him away from her he voice steps up a fair few notches.

"Lie! Again! How bloody dare you tell people I caused our breakup!" More confusion, he hadn't told people that!

"I didn't! I didn't the first time and I didn't now!" The more he lied the angrier she was getting.

"Liar! I've heard what everyone in work is saying! That my hormones have sent me round the twist and you're paying the price! Don't tell me it hasn't come from you! Sarah, Lucas's mum, phoned me this morning to try to help and offered me a psychiatrist!" Realisation set in, he hadn't expected that to get out nor did he expect her to hear it but then again she had too many friends in that place.

"Oh. Lisa listen I didn't tell them that!" Glaring she wasn't softening, he lets his head fall before adding "I just didn't put them right. I'm sorry." She forces her tears not to fall only wanting to cry out of pure anger. She wasn't giving him the satisfaction.

"No! I had no intention on telling people the truth! But when Sarah said that all my intentions went out the window! I knew she had to find out from you and it wasn't just people jumping to conclusions. She had too much detail. I told everyone else it was a long time coming and no one else was involved but now I don't care what they know!" His eyes instantly widen, knowing what this meant.

"You told her the truth? I didn't mean for anyone to think that, he asked and I couldn't think up a lie!" Her rage wasn't calming if anything she was getting more wound up.

"Of course I told her! You didn't need to lie it's not one else's bloody business! As bloody usual you were more worried about your own career than anything else! Well fuck your career! You've done this to me once I won't let you do it again!" He suddenly understood what she meant. When they broke up the first time he'd let his mouth run and made sure everyone knew she finished things without explaining why. He happily let her friends and colleagues believe she was desperate for a baby and no longer needed him when in fact she'd dumped him because she knew his career would always go before their child and now standing before he realised she'd been right.

Sarah of course happened to be a very big gossip and despite being a stay at home mum she was used to socialising with her husbands colleagues so much so that she'd become friends with a fair few of them. One or two texts to certain people and the information spread like wild fire. Before long half the hospital were talking about it, not that Duffy liked people discussing her or her marriage but Andrew had made her so angry that she didn't care anymore. Once more Chloe was sat in the staffroom when Anna joined her. Duffy had admitted she'd split up from Andrew but gave no real reason for it and Chloe didn't believe it was Duffy's hormones that caused it. Something wasn't right but she wasn't blunt enough to ask Duffy outright, she'd given her the usual 'it's been a long time coming' speech. Anna distracted her from her magazine with one simple sentence.

"I know the real reason Duffy and Andrew split." Her eyes shot up to her friend, wonder filling her while Anna double checked no one was about to join them before the conversation went any further.

"What? What happened?" Sitting down beside her Anna let her voice drop a notch just incase anyone came in.

"Duffy found out Andrew was sleeping with Colette." Shocked filled her face as the latest gossip sunk in.

"No way! That's got to be a lie they're close friends."

"No lie. That's why Colette has quit, she knows people will side with Duffy when it came out." Chloe wanted to make a comment, it was on the tip of her tongue but her own past stopped her. She wasn't any better was she? Well at least Tina and Sean weren't married.

"Oh my god. No wonder Duffy wouldn't tell me what really happened."

"Well apparently it's come from her, she found out about what Andrew has been telling people and decided to put them right."

"I told you that was a lie and a weak one at that. Andrew could have come up with something better than that." Just as Anna was about to reply her words are stopped by Colette walking in the staffroom. Both women couldn't help but stare up at her, not expecting her to walk in then, so much so Colette realised the truth was out.

He was glad when his shift was finally over he knew all to well everyone had discovered the truth not that anyone had said anything to him but he knew by how they all were behaving. Locking his car he heads up the familiar path to Duffy's house he only hoped she hadn't found out. She tried to smile as she opened the door to him, Charlotte asleep in her arms, but it got lost somewhere. She was still dressed in the same outfit as before but her hair was now up in one of her usual styles as well as her make-up done in an earlier attempt to hide her tear soaked skin.

"Hey, come in." Stepping aside she lets him in the door before adding "Coffee?" They reached the kitchen before he stopped the small chat with one sentence.

"What's happened?" Focussing down on the sleeping tot in her arms she takes in a deep breath.

"I'm sure you already know Charlie." That wasn't enough information for him, there was a lot going round that could upset her. As she continued her voice broke."I heard what he was telling people, telling people that having Lottie had sent me round the twist." As she broke down his rage exploded, how dare he! That was a rumour he hadn't heard!

"He what?!" He wanted to explode, rant and scream but seeing her so upset stopped him, getting to his feet he takes her into his arms as much as he could with her holding Charlotte. How much more pain was that arse going to put her through? She deserved so much better, she deserved the world not this.

"Why do I keep letting me hurt me like this?" Shutting his own eyes he sighs, it broke him to see her like this.

"He is not worth your tears you know that but it's easier said than done. You've been with him a long time its not as simple as turning your feelings off."

"I don't love him Charlie. Not anymore. I couldn't after all this." Kissing her tear soaked cheek softly he wished he could take the pain away.

"You deserve so much more, you always did."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

"Have you thought about coming back?" Both sitting with tea her eyes were focussed on her six month old daughter at her feet rather than her best friend at her side. The older two of her children were at their fathers this weekend, something she swore she'd never get used to but as of yet she still refused to let her youngest go for a whole weekend. Finally addressing Charlie her voice was soft knowing he'd object.

"I don't think I'm coming back." His face was a picture, what on earth was she talking about? Twisting to face her better he couldn't understand where this had come from.

"What? Why?!" Facing him she simply gives him a look of 'are you kidding me?' Before returning her gaze to her daughter still playing with a toy at her feet.

"I can't go back there." Sighing she leans forwards and takes Lottie into her arms. "Not after everything." No he wasn't letting that sod of an ex win. Not this time.

"Don't be ridiculous Duffy. You love your job, don't let him take that from you again. He quit two months ago he's not there, neither is Colette she quit before anyone even found out. Everyone is on your side anyway, that's why they had to quit." He didn't understand and she didn't want him to.

"They all know, they've spent the past three months talking about me haven't they? Discussing if I've gone round the twist and then about how sad it was for me. They pity me, no one would take me seriously." Letting Lottie grab his hand he shakes his head at her, no one would pity her.

"No they don't! They know you better than that. It's been three months Duffy you know what gossip is like in that place. Right now they're all too busy talking about Polly and James upstairs. We need you." Shutting her eyes as Lottie lets go of Charlies hand and decides instead to pull at her mothers hair she still wasn't sure.

"Oh I don't know Charlie." Sighing she wasn't convinced at all but she needed to decide quickly, she needed the money.

His apartment wasn't the best but it would do for now, there was room for him and the boys and that was what he needed. Of course there was room for Charlotte too whenever his ex would finally let him have her for the weekend. He tried to be understanding with how sick Lottie had been and her been early she might be 6 months old but she wasn't developmentally at that stage yet and it wasn't like he'd helped much with her care when they were together. Still it wasn't easy everything had changed so quickly in the past three months. So far he'd been flung out of his home, moved twice, quit his job, found a new job which sadly wasn't at the same rank and now his wife had filed for divorce. Hardly an easy time. Shaking his thoughts out of his head he turns his attention back to the film the boys had on although Jake had long since given up and gone to play a game. Sipping his coffee he doesn't notice Peter turn to him.

"Dad?" Having waited for his dad to acknowledge he'd heard him he takes in a breath before continuing. "Did you cheat on mum?" That was not what he expected his son to come out with. Where had he got that from?

"Excuse me?! Why on earth would you think that?!" Sighing he focusses on his hands rather than his dads face. He'd known for a while the truth about his parents brake up, of course he suspected when his mum first told them but she insisted it was just something that happened. It was the only real reason he knew of for adults breaking up so he went with her but then he picked up on the comments made by various friends of his mothers and of course his Gran didn't even attempt to hide the truth. Any chance she got she made a dig at his father but of most of them were out of his mothers earshot. Of course she wasn't making these comments in front of him and his brother, she wasn't that bold but Peter had taken up listening in to their conversations.

"I'm not stupid dad. Some of mums friends kept hinting at it and Gran. Not that mum knows I heard but I knew anyway. You were never home and mum was always sad." Dread filled him like a sink filled with water why did he ask him and not Duffy? She could have answered this so much better than he could.

"I didn't cheat on your mum, your gran is just mad at me for not treating your mum the way I should have."

"Don't lie to me dad!" Caving he sighs knowing Duffy was going to kill him regardless how he answered now.

She was still chatting to Charlie about work when the phone rang , she assumed it was her mum as she usually called around now but she was wrong.

"Hello?" The voice who answered was not who she expected at all.

"Mum?" He was upset she knew that straight away. "Mum? Can you pick me up please." Why was her son phoning her? Where the hell was Andrew?

"Peter? Yeah of course I can. What's wrong? Are you and Jake okay?" Before he could answer she could hear her ex in the background shouting at him.

"I just want to come home, I don't want to stay with dad anymore, neither does Jake." Charlie could tell something was wrong, her face was full of worry and no wonder if Peter had called her.

"Okay I'm on my way right now. I'll see you in five minutes." Having got an answer back she hangs up and instantly gets to her feet. "I need to go get the boys." Holding Charlotte he got to his own feet now.

"Why? What's happened?" Getting her shoes on and grabbing the keys she lets Charlie follow her to the car.

"I haven't a clue, Peter sounds very upset and I can hear Andrew yelling in the background but I don't know what he was saying. All I could get out of Peter was that he wanted me to take him and Jake home." Something in her voice told him she didn't think it was a simple disagreement, her sons weren't like that anyway they were both very well behaved children. Having put Lottie in her car seat and made sure she was secure it wasn't long before they were off. Less than five minutes later as promised she was parking outside Andrews apartment.

"You go ahead, I'll get Charlotte." With that she was off, in full mum mode.

Knocking on the door within seconds, after been buzzed in she could hear raised voices before Jake answered the door his backpack all set to go. Without a word he attempted to walk past her and head to the car.

"Jake! Hold up there. What's going on?" Grabbing her youngest son she manoeuvres him back into the flat just as Peter reaches her and attempts to leave. "Can someone please explain what's going on here please?" Just as she finishes her sentence Andrew comes into view looking stressed.

"Where's Charlotte?" Sighing, that was not what she asked. Folding her arms having pushed both sons back into the flat this time she stares at her ex expectingly.

"With Charlie, he's just coming up. I'll ask again, what's going on?" Just as that Charlie comes into view behind her, Charlotte in his arms babbling away. Peter was the first to speak.

"We know the truth and we want to go." He knew he started all this, in a sense, he was the one that had to ask but now that it had been confirmed to him he wanted out. He couldn't look at his dad any longer. As soon as Charlie had reached the apartment she shuts the door, not understanding at all.

"What? What truth?" Jake was next, having walked in at the wrong time earlier on. Unlike Peter he hadn't a clue, been younger he just took his mums words as truth. He didn't quite understand what it all meant but he knew it was bad.

"We know dad cheated." Instantly she stares at her ex, why on earth did he tell them? What good was going to come from them knowing that? Of course she understood they'd eventually find out the truth but not now.

"What?" She had so many questions but the kids couldn't hear it. Sighing she hands the car keys to Peter. "Right okay. Boys go to the car with Charlie, I need to talk to your dad." They didn't need to told twice within seconds they were off without so much as saying goodbye to their father. Charlie however was torn he couldn't handle seeing Andrew brake her again but he took her order and left to go back to the car with her kids. Once more he placed Charlotte back in the car seat whilst the boys sat quietly.

"You both okay?" Nodding quietly they sighed liked their mother had numerous times today. He was just about to get back in the car himself when Peter added. "I wish you were our dad Charlie. You wouldn't hurt mum like he does."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10.

Finally back in the house she'd put a film on for the boys having decided to talk to them later once they both had time to calm down, Charlotte was asleep in her baby swing placed in the kitchen so she could keep an eye on her whilst Charlie was busy making coffee. What would she do without him? He wasn't sure what was said but she was a fair amount of time with Andrew before returning to the car and one thing was for sure, she was upset again. She hid it from the boys well but he could see through her brave face, her eyes betrayed her. Passing her the coffee her eyes were set on Charlotte in front of her but she manages to mumble a "thank you" as her determination to appear okay begins to crumble.

"What happened?" Glancing up at him he realised she wasn't upset anymore she was broken like she'd given up on everything. Sighing she wan't at all sure she was up to going over it with anyone, even Charlie. It was all such a mess.

"We had a massive fight about it. Peter asked him outright if he'd cheated and Andrews blaming me for him figuring it out, well my mother." Drinking the coffee gladly she was exhausted, so exhausted but then she honestly couldn't remember the last time she wasn't. Charlie on the other hand was more confused than before, how could this be her fault?

"She wouldn't have told him that, she might hate Andrew but she wouldn't upset Peter by telling him that."

"No but Peter has been listening in on conversations I've had with her and various other friends so Andrew says. I told him he was going to find out eventually but he's furious." He knew by her tone she was blaming herself as well, what was it about Andrew that did this to her? He'd never met anyone who could destroy someone the way Andrew could destroy her. there was something about him that she couldn't see through he always seemed to have some control over her.

"It's his own fault not yours. How can he stand and blame you for the boys finding out what he did?" Her eyes still on her child instead of Charlie she wasn't sure about anything anymore. Maybe she did want them to find out? She shouldn't have spoke to her mum about it all when they were home, even if she thought he was asleep.

"I tried to say that but he's insistent I wanted them to find out and turn them against him." Shaking his head he knew that wasn't true nothing she'd done since their breakup had hinted at that which of course Andrew knew. He just knew her well enough to know exactly what buttons to press to destroy her. What kind of man did that to the mother of his children? He was nothing but a coward.

"If that was true you'd have told them in the beginning what happened, you didn't because you're need to protect them was stronger than any pain he'd inflicted on you. You protected his image from everyone, he ruined it. He's been his usual selfish arrogant self and as always trying to blame you for it." Thinking about what Charlie tried to get through to her it made sense but it wasn't enough.

"I know. I wish I'd left him when I was pregnant, it would have been so much easier on the boys." Half nodding he could see what she meant but he was glad she hadn't left him then. If she had she would have probably been alone when she got ill and might not have got in to hospital in time. She only just made it in the first place. Rather than admit that to her he decides to go down another route.

"True but then he would have had a greater chance of charming you into taking him back wouldn't he? Not to mention the risk of Charlotte blaming herself. This way he has no one to blame but himself and no way of getting out of it." Standing up she gives in agreement as she begins to do the dishes mounting up, not that any of them were hers once more she hadn't eaten today. The dishes were mostly cups and various items of Charlottes something Charlie hadn't failed to notice.

"Okay, I never thought of that." As she waits for the sink to fill she turns to Charlie. "What am I going to say to Peter and Jake though? How can I possibly make this better?" Leaning forward he picks up Charlotte, who had been trying to get his attention since she woke five minutes ago.

"You can't. All you can do is answer any questions they have and make sure they know it's has nothing to do with them, its up to Andrew to explain himself. Sighing she knew he was right but it didn't make any of this any easier. She was especially worried about what all this would do to Peter, he was 13 next year and a complicated relationship with Andrew was only going to make his teenage years harder.

"I guess your right. The boys don't need this, no child needs to know the details they do." Changing the subject he couldn't keep quiet any longer. With the boys knowing the truth he knew they'd refuse to go back to the fathers for some time, they needed Duffy. She needed help.

"Duffy they would have found out eventually, you said it yourself. Now how about some dinner, I'll make it." Shaking her head she continues doing the dishes, answering automatically.

"The boys had at Andrews and Charlotte will be good for another hour yet." Watching her from his chair, Charlotte still in his arms he shakes his head.

"I don't mean the kids Duffy." Turning her nose up the thought of food right now made her feel sick.

"I'm not hungry. Help yourself though." Sighing his heart began to beat faster, worried about her reaction.

"You can't keep doing this Duffy, you're going to end up in hospital." Confused she turns to face him, where did that come from?

"Do what? What are you talking about?" Giving her a knowing look he wondered if she could see it. Did she know what she was doing to herself?

"Not eating. When was the last time you actually ate something?" More confusion now, what was he talking about?

"Don't be ridiculous. I eat plenty." Not really true, she ate enough to keep her just about going. Not that she was refusing food to look a certain way or on purpose but the thought of eating most of the time made her feel sick and if it wasn't that she simply forgot.

"You'll collapse if you keep going like this. Please go see someone." See someone? Did he think she was anorexic or something?

"Charlie the way you're talking you'd think I had an eating disorder not just skipping the odd meal." Odd meal?! There was nothing left of her! Could she really not see it? In 6 months she'd gone from what he'd guess at size 10 to a 2 or 4! Pleading now he just couldn't let this continue.

"You don't get that small that fast skipping the odd meal Duffy. I know you remember, when you're stressed you stop eating. Please get help, I can't sit back and watch you do this to yourself any longer."


End file.
